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When we are talking about subjects like "relating to women", or "how to relate to women" or "Can you relate to women?", I usually get asked about the simplest way to start getting physical with a girl that you have known as a friend for some time.

Getting physical is something which usually occurs naturally between a guy and a girl more than a three month period unless one or both of them is extremely uncomfortable on disinterested.

When a man is uncomfortable with approaching a girl for a physical relationship, the main thing which a man could do to take care of that is learn to observe and use gradients.

What are gradients? Gradients are like steps on a ladder which you climb to get to the top. A few guys may try to head to the top level of the ladder without climbing any of the steps. And that makes the girl uncomfortable as well as the guy.

A guy who is not comfortable in this area ought to learn both how to recognize gradients when women make use of them and the way to use gradients on women.

Not every woman will start at the same gradient. A few women will begin with a kiss after a first date, and move up steadily or quickly from there - from kissing, to making out, to petting, to heavy petting and lastly to sexual relations. If a man tries to jump to the "sexual relations" stage without going through the other gradients, he may just lose the girl. Conversely, you may lose a girl because you are moving up the gradients too slowly.

Now other girls won't even be up to the gradient of giving you a goodnight kiss till the seventh date. Gradients for her might be: getting to know you, talking about sexual topics indirectly (for example commiserating regarding an ex-boyfriend), accidental touch (bumping into you while you walk), purposeful little touches to your arm or leg, holding onto your arm while you stroll, holding your hand, after which a goodnight kiss.

If you are uncomfortable with this area and want to get physical with a girl, flirt with her, romance her, observe where she is on the gradients of sexual contact, then take her up the gradients gently. So long as you don't skip way too many gradients, if she is interested, she will move up the gradients swiftly or slowly depending on her personality.

If she is not interested, she probably won't budge. Try lowering the gradient and if she still doesn't budge, try speaking about it. Ask her if she is interested in a relationship with you or if she only wants to be good friends.

Also remember that most girls won't go out on a "date" with you unless of course they are already vaguely okay with the concept of getting physical with you. So you might want to make clear if you are dating or just "chilling out."

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